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You Might Be Alcoholic If !


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Keep It Clean Please

Removed Abused


Date: 05 Aug 2003
Time: 19:15:10
Remote Name: 209.214.116.98
Remote User:

Comments

You wake up in the river.You always only had two. When asked what time it is, you describe how to build a watch. You are on your 9th wife. You go into the 7 11 get a six pack from the cooler, head directly to the restroom, drink beer, exit restroom buy pack of gum and leave. If you have to get paper signed. If you always carry half pint in your boot. If your windshield wiper container is wiskey not water. If when stopped by an officer and he ask to see your license, your reply is if you'll let me play with your gun. Your mistaken at 7 am for a vibrator. You have your speach ready for a meeting. If you have to go to meetings. If you lost your car again. If you have to look outside to see what damage you did last night. If you frequently wake up in a cemetery. If you try to outrun the law and they are not there. If you stop the law and try to ticket them. If you climb water tower and refuse to come down. If you cool or hide your alcohol in the toliet tank.


Date: 26 Aug 2003
Time: 15:14:16
Remote Name: 209.214.195.54
Remote User:

Comments

If you wake up on the beach at 10:00 a.m. with the roof of your mouth sunburned. If you go after a loaf of bread and get back three days later without the bread.If your other half tells you that "That's your fifth one today", and your reply is "Shut up and eat your breakfast!"If you wake up in your ex-wife's house and you've been divorced a year and a half! [Try explaining that to your present wife!][Happened to me]MNC


Date: 20 Sep 2003
Time: 02:18:11
Remote Name: 205.188.208.40
Remote User:

Comments

......if you drive your wifes new mini-van through your garage door at 2:30 am and you still think your sneeking in the house.....Yeah,I did that!! Sam L./Knoxville


Date: 30 Sep 2003
Time: 13:16:52
Remote Name: 204.167.53.85
Remote User:

Comments

Other people are not insane when you're not around...


Date: 19 Oct 2003
Time: 19:03:41
Remote Name: 65.45.136.66
Remote User:

Comments

You always answer the question "How much have you had to drink?" with a couple.


Date: 03 Nov 2003
Time: 11:45:28
Remote Name: 170.94.108.78
Remote User:

Comments

you get a d.u.i. on a lawnmower.


Date: 13 Nov 2003
Time: 10:18:10
Remote Name: 12.76.246.211
Remote User:

Comments

You get married after one date.


Date: 28 Jan 2004
Time: 16:38:46
Remote Name: 66.90.228.100
Remote User:

Comments

Really believe that you can stop anytime you want to, and that youre not hurting anyone but yourself.


Date: 05 Aug 2003
Time: 19:06:33
Remote Name: 209.214.116.98
Remote User:

Comments

If you lick the bottle cap.


Date: 28 Jan 2004
Time: 17:04:46
Remote Name: 66.90.228.100
Remote User:

Comments

If you pour beer on your Wheaties !!!


Date: 13 Feb 2004
Time: 12:05:40
Remote Name: 209.214.195.121
Remote User:

Comments

If you throw the cap away when you take it off a bottle.(Too much work putting it back on. You'll just have to take it off again, anyway.....)If you wake up in jail, and have no idea what you're in for....and you hope it's just a plain drunk charge....MNC


Date: 07 Aug 2004
Time: 14:49:19
Remote Name: 4.152.159.68
Remote User:

Comments

Your loved ones continues not to answer the door or the phone when you call.


Date: 12 Dec 2004
Time: 15:10:43
Remote Name: 4.154.44.146
Remote User:

Comments

If after 16 years of sobriety your fingernails still sweat if your in the presence of more than 3 cops.


Date: 16 Nov 2005
Time: 17:25:53
Remote Name: 64.178.5.29
Remote User:

Comments

If when you call your dog it runs the other way.


Revised 12/03/2005