PRECIOUS MEMORIES

Tennessee AA Journal of Remembrance and Recovery

Home of our "Precious Memories"

The primary purpose of this newsletter is to carry the message ofrecovery to the alcoholic who still suffers. The aim is to be informative regarding ourheritage and to keep the record straight so that no distortion of our history occurs.

Tennessee State Archives Trusted Servants

Archives Chairperson: Pauline L. Archives Alt. Chair. : Charlie M.

Archives Treasurer: Bryan McB. Archives Secretary: Kim P.

Page 1

The Archives Committee Articles...Humility by Bill

Poems

Area 64 Archives Budget Group History

Archives Agenda Upcoming Events

Coffeepot corner Puzzle/comment

WOW!---The Third Quarter Assembly, June 25, 26, & 27, in Jackson sure was agood one! It’s always nice to see old friends and meet new ones. The host committeewas diligent in keeping on top of everything. The Hospitality committee really outdidthemselves in providing sustenance and accommodations. They are truly to be applauded fortheir efforts--this was the first time I’ve noticed cold pitchers of water beside thecoffee urns, and I know that they opened the hospitality room after 10:00 PM--this musthave been a pleasure for the weary traveler that arrived late.

"The Road to Happy Destiny"

The Archive Committee solicits group/district histories,

group/district minutes, personal stories, meeting minutes,

flyers, artifacts, memorabilia, and anything pertaining to

AA history of Tennessee specifically, and AA in general.

WebNotes

1. Yes I believe this is a GREAT way to carry our message.

2. No I think it is a waste of our time and expenses.

3. I don't have a clue.

The results as of now are:

Do you think that a Web Site

Is a Good way of carrying our

message to the still suffering

Alcoholic? [11 votes total]

Yes, I believe this is a GREAT

way to carry our message. (10)......................91%

No, I think it is a waste of our

Time and Expenses. (0) .................................. 0%

I have no Clue. (1) ...........................................9%

Also, we have added a Search Engine for our site. This is a great toolfor our pages. All you do is scroll down to the Tennessee State Archives Search Engine andtype in any word or words. Hit enter and the engine will find each instant to your wordlocated only on our site. It will display the particular pages this word is found with aLINK to each.

Then, there is a Bulletin Board that allows each user to post messagesand reply to messages left by others. This is a Recovery oriented place to communicatewith others and receive feedback from your fellow A. A. s.

We've added a G.S.O. Anonymity Statement. This actually links to G.S.O.The Anonymity Statement appears and then you can surf around G.S.O.'s site (GeneralService Organization).

For those who have sound capabilities on their PC we have added somepleasant music to several pages. The music can be set to play continuously or one timeonly. We hope to soon add the ability to cut music on or off for those that may choose notto hear. On the opening page, we have added a portion of Chapter 5 "How itWorks." As you view your site, feel free to let us know about broken links,misspelled words, or anything that you might find unsuitable.

Finally, we have a Guest Book that actually works. Please sign it whenyou visit your site.

A Chat Room has been added and all you have to do to use it is aone-time sign up that configures your Password and Handle. After that you simply log inyour user name and password and Chat with others that might be visiting the site. All weneed now is folks to begin to use it.

We have added a link from Middle Tennessee Central Office that allowsmeeting searches. Simply click on this Link and type in the zip code for the area yourlooking for. It will show you all the meetings in that area almost instantly.

The Standing Committee has been slow about being added but we areworking on them. Thanks for the info!

We have added a link from Middle Tennessee Central Office that allowsmeeting searches. Simply click on this Link and type in the zip code for the area you'relooking for. It will show you all the meetings in that area almost instantly.

There is also a link now to the Big Book Online. This is a verygood way to look up anything in the Big Book by an index that will carry you to anyparticular word or phrase in the Big Book.

Another Link that has been added is to a very old newspaper clipping,which was found in an old trunk recently. It had a poem about an Alcoholic in Denial and AThree-Day Cure for Alcoholism. Click on this to view.

It's time to begin to scan fragile documents and sensitive material andarchive it on our pages. If you have some experience and are willing to help Paulineplease e-mail, snail mail, call, yell, send up smoke signals, get in touch with her.Thanks.

There's no end to the imagination and the many ways we can put thisWebSite to good use. Please feel free to send comments or suggestions. Also as we getcloser to our spirit of Rotation, we will look forward to new experiences in this very newarea for carrying the Message to the still Suffering Alcoholic. In A.A. Love and Service.Blue Skies Daggerrose Archive home page is: http://www.daggerrose.com

REPORT FROM 49TH GENERAL CONFERENCE

Until this year, there has been no Conference Archives Committee.However, the 48th General Service Conference voted that: A Conference Archives Committee,composed of nine delegates (five from panel 48 and four from panel 49) meet as a secondarycommittee assignment, and that the committee meet jointly with the Trustees' ArchivesCommittee.

Approved at the 49th General Service Conference April 1999,New York

Considering the need for a Conference Archives Committee: Becausebackground information indicated that a further need exists beyond the scope of theTrustees' Archives Committee, the committee recommended that a Conference ArchivesCommittee composed of nine delegates (five from Panel 48 and four from Panel 49) meet atthe 49th General Service Conference as a secondary committee assignment and that thecommittee meet jointly with the trustees' Archives Committee.

The Conference Committee on Archives, April 21, 1999, met jointly withthe Trustees' Archives Committee. The Committee accepted the report of the trustees'committee and considered the following items:

It was unanimously recommended that the trustees' Archives Committeereview the Archives Handbook and consider the need for any changes and /or an archiveskit.

Additional committee considerations:

The committee reviewed the proposed draft of a Composition, Scope, andPurpose of the Conference Archive Committee and accepted it with suggested amendments.

The committee elected Mitch S., delegate from Area 57, Oklahoma, aschairperson; and Jamie R., delegate from Area 11, Connecticut, as alternate chairperson.

There are nine members of this committee and one non-voting secretary.Members of this committee will serve as a secondary committee assignment and not a primarycommittee assignment.

Not more than five delegates from the previous year's panel (theycontinue to serve on this panel for an additional year) and not more than five delegatesfrom the current year's panel.

The new chairperson and alternate chairperson are elected by writtenballot at the final committee meting during the session from the first-year panel membersand take office immediately following the Conference.

The function of this committee is to:

1. Discuss the report of the Trustee's Archives Committee.

2. Make recommendations on archival policies.

other committee members during the year.

HUMILITY fortoday

There can be no absolute humility for us humans. At best, we can onlyglimpse the meaning and splendor of such a perfect ideal. As the book Alcoholics Anonymoussays: "We are not saints...we claim spiritual progress rather than spiritualperfection." Only God Himself can manifest in the Absolute; we human beings mustneeds live and grow in the domain of the relative. We seek humility for today.

Therefore our practical question is this: "Just what do we mean by‘humility for today’ and how do we know when we have found it?"

We scarcely need be reminded that excessive guilt or rebellion leads tospiritual poverty. But it was a very long time before we knew we could go even more brokeon spiritual pride. When we early AAs got our first glimmer of how spiritually prideful wecould be, we coined this expression: "Don't try to get too damned good byThursday!" That old-time admonition may look like another of those handy alibis thatcan excuse us from trying for the best. Yet a closer view reveals just the contrary. Thisis our AA way of warning against pride-blindness, and the imaginary perfections that we donot possess.

Now that we no longer patronize bars and bordellos; now that we bringhome the pay checks; now that we are so very active in AA, and now that peoplecongratulate us on these signs of progress--well, we naturally proceed to congratulateourselves. Yet we may not be within hailing distance of humility. Meaning well, yet doingbadly, how often have I thought, "I am right and you are wrong." "My planis correct and yours is faulty," "Thank God your sins are not my sins,""You are hurting AA and I’m going to stop you cold," "I haveGod’s guidance, so He is on my side." And so on, indefinitely.

The alarming thing about such pride-blindness is the ease with which itis justified. But we need not look far to see that this deceptive brand ofself-justification is a universal destroyer of harmony and of love. It sets man againstman, nation against nation. By it, every form of folly and violence can be made to lookright, and even respectable. Of course it is not for us to condemn. We need only toinvestigate ourselves.

How, then, can we do more and more about reducing our guilt, rebellionand pride?

When I inventory such defects, I like to draw a picture and tell myselfa story. My picture is that of a Highway to Humility, and my story is an allegory. On oneside of my Highway, I see a great bog. The Highway’s edge borders a shallow marsh,which finally shelves down into that muddy morass of guilt and rebellion in which I haveoften floundered. Self-destruction lies in wait out there, and I know this. But thecountry on the other of the road looks fine. I see inviting glades, and beyond them greatmountains. The countless trails leading into this pleasant land look safe. It will beeasy, I think, to find one’s way back. Together with numbers of friends, I decide totake a brief detour. We pick our path and happily plunge along it. Elatedly, someone soonsays, "Maybe we’ll find gold on top of that mountain." Then to ouramazement we strike gold--not nuggets in the streams, but fully minted coins. The heads ofthese coins each declare, "This is pure gold--twenty-four carats." Surely, wethink, this is the reward for our patient plodding back there in the everlastingbrightness of the Highway.

Soon, though, we begin to notice the words on the tails of our coins,and we have strange foreboding. Some pieces carry, rather attractive inscriptions: "Iam Power." "I am Acclaim," I am Wealth," "I amRighteousness," they say. But others seem very strange. For example: "I am TheMaster Race," " I am The Benefactor," "I am Good Causes," "Iam God." This is very puzzling. Nevertheless we pocket them. But next come realshockers. They read "I’m Pride," "I’m Anger," "I’mAggression," "I’m Revenge," "I’m Disunity,""I’m Chaos." Then we turn up a single coin--just one--which declares:"I am the Devil himself." Some of us are horrified and we cry. "This isfool’s gold, and this is a fool’s paradise--let’s clear out of here!"

But many would not return with us. They said,"Let’s stay here and sort over those damned coins. We’ll pick only the onesthat carry lucky inscriptions. For instance, those that say, ‘Power’ and‘Glory’ and ‘Righteousness.’ you fellows are going to be sorry youdidn’t stick around." Not strangely, it was years before this part of ouroriginal company returned to the Highway.

They told us the story of those who had sworn never to return. They hadsaid, "This money is real gold, and don’t tell us any different. We’regoing to pile up all we can. Sure, we don’t like those foolish mottoes. Butthere’s plenty of firewood here. We’ll just melt all this stuff down into goodsolid bricks." Then our late arrivals added: "This is how the gold of Prideclaimed our brothers. They were already quarreling over their bricks when we left. Somewere hurt and a few were dying. They had begun to destroy each other."

This symbolic picture graphically tells me that I may attain"humility for today" only to the extent that I am able to avoid the bog of guiltand rebellion, and that fair but deceiving land which is strewn with the coin of Pride.This is how I can find and stay on the Road to Humility, which lies in between. Thereforea constant inventory which can reveal when I am off the road is always in order.

Of course, our first attempts at such inventories are apt to prove veryunrealistic. I used to be a champ at unrealistic self-appraisal. I wanted to look only atthe part of my life which seemed good. Then I would greatly exaggerate whatever virtues Isupposed I had attained. Next I would congratulate myself on the grand job I was doing. Somy unconscious self-deception never failed to turn my few good assets into seriousliabilities. This astonishing process was always a pleasant one. Naturally this generateda terrible hankering for still more "accomplishments," and still more approval.I was falling straight back into the pattern of my drinking days. Here were the same oldgoals--power, fame, and applause. Besides, I had the best alibi known--the spiritualalibi.

The fact that I really did have a spiritual objective always made thisutter nonsense seem perfectly right. I couldn’t tell a good coin from a bad one; itwas spiritual goldbricking at its worst. I shall forever regret the damage I did to peoplearound me. Indeed, I still tremble when I realize what I might have done to AA and to itsfuture.

In those days I wasn’t much bothered about the areas of life inwhich I was standing still. There was always the alibi: "After all," I said tomyself, "I’m far too busy with much more important matters." That was mynear perfect prescription for comfort and complacency.

But sometimes I would simply have to look at certain situations where,on the face of them, I was doing very badly. Right away, a rousing rebellion would set in.Then the search for excuses would become frantic. "These," I would exclaim,"are really a good man’s faults." When that pet gadget finally broke apart,I would think, "Well, if those people would only treat me right, I wouldn’t haveto behave the way I do." Next in order was this: "God well knows that I do have awfulcompulsions. I just can’t get over this one. So He will have to releaseme." At last came the time when I would shout, "This, I positively willnot do; I won’t even try." Of course my conflicts went on mountingbecause I was simply loaded with excuses and refusals.

When these troubles had finally exhausted me enough, there was yetanother escape. I would commence to wallow in the bog of guilt. Here pride and rebellionwould give way to depression. Though the variations were many, my main theme always was,"How god-awful I am." Just as I had exaggerated my modest attainments by pride,so now I would exaggerate my defects through guilt. I would race about, confessing all(and a great deal more!) to whoever would listen. Believe it or not, I took that to begreat humility on my part, and I counted this as my sole remaining asset and consolation!

During those bouts with guilt, there was never a decent regret for theharms I had done, nor was there any serious thought of making restitution as I could. Theidea of asking God’s forgiveness, let alone any forgiveness of myself, never occurredto me. Of course my really big liability--spiritual pride and arrogance--was not examinedat all. I had shut out the light by which I might have seen it.

Today I think I can trace a clear linkage between my guilt and my pride.Both are attention-getters. In pride I could say, "Look at me, I am wonderful."In guilt I would moan, "I’m awful." Therefore guilt is really the reverseside of the coin of pride. Guilt aims at self-destruction and Pride aims at thedestruction of other

"In Pride I could say, "Look at me, I am wonderful." Inguilt I would moan, "I'm awful."

Many of us have experienced far greater emotional gyrations than I.Others have experienced less. But all of us still have them at times. Yet I think we neednot regret these conflicts. They seem to be a necessary part of growing up, emotionallyand spiritually. They are the raw material out of which much of our progress has to bemade.

Does anyone ask if AA is a retching pit of pain and conflict? The answeris "Certainly not." In great measure, we AAs have really found peace. Howeverhaltingly, we have managed to attain an increasing humility whose dividends have beenserenity and legitimate joy; we do not detour as much or as far as we once did.

At the outset of this meditation, it was thought that absolute idealsare far beyond our attainment, or even our comprehension; that we would be sadly lackingin humility if we really felt that we could achieve anything like absolute perfection inthis brief span of earthly existence. Such a presumption would certainly be that acme ofspiritual pride.

Reasoning thus, many people will have no truck at all with absolutespiritual values. Perfectionists, they say, are full of conceit because they fancy theyhave reached some impossible goal, or else they are swamped in self-condemnation becausethey have not done so.

Yet I think that we should not hold this view. It is not the fault ofgreat ideals that they are sometimes misused and so become shallow excuses for guilt,rebellion, and pride. On the contrary, we cannot grow very much unless we constantly tryto envision what the eternal spiritual values are. As Step Eleven of AA’s recoveryprogram says, we Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our consciouscontact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for usand the power to carry that out. This surely means that we ought to look towardGod’s Perfection as our guide rather than as a goal to be reached in any foreseeabletime.

I’m sure, for instance, that I ought to seek out the finestdefinition of humility that is possible for me to envision. This definition doesn’thave to be absolutely perfect--I am only asked to try. Suppose I choose one like this:"Perfect humility would be a state of complete freedom from myself, freedom from allthe claims that my defects of character now lay so heavily upon me. Perfect humility wouldbe a full willingness, in all times and places, to fine and do the will of God."

When I meditate upon such a vision, I need not be dismayed because Ishall never attain it, nor need I swell with presumption that one of these days itsvirtues shall all be mine.

I only need to dwell on the vision itself, letting it grow and ever morefill my heart. This done, I can compare it with my last-taken personal inventory. Then Iget a sane and healthy idea of where I actually stand on the Highway to Humility. I seethat my journey toward God has scarce begun. As I thus get down to my right size andstature, my self-concern and importance become amusing. Then faith grows that I do have aplace on this Highway; that I can advance upon it with deepening peace and confidence.Once more I know that God is good; that I need fear no evil. This is a great gift, thisknowledge that I do have a destiny.

As I continue to contemplate God’s Perfection, I discover stillanother joy. As a child, hearing my first symphony, I was lifted up into its indescribableharmony, though I knew little of how or whence it came. So today, when I listen forGod’s Music of the Spheres, I can now and again hear those divine chords by which amtold that the Great Composer loves me--and that I love Him.

Anyone having the time and interest to help with service work at theArchives, please give me your name or fill in the form below. This includes but notlimited to; filing, sorting, straightening, cleaning the building, fund raising, WebSite,simple maintenance of building, everything from soup to nuts. There are noqualifiers--only a sincere willingness to participate. Where ever you are located, pleaseconsider one day a year, or month, or on a regular basis, as a group or individually justcontact the Archives by e-mail, regular mail, or phone. Suggestions, as always, areappreciated.

The form below just asks for your name and contact point and a suggestedtime. As an example: There's a lady that comes from Nashville about three times a quarterto straighten up files and offers suggestions as to how to improve our efficiency. Manyminds and bodies can accomplish what an individual can only imagine.

We are a state supported facility, which houses our most preciousmemories and as such we desire and welcome visitors and any one who wishes to research ourhistory. Our hope is to be inclusive and available to our Fellowship.

Archive mailing Address: 801 B N. Maney Ave.

Murfreesboro, TN. 37130

Telephone: 615-895-5225

E-mail: http://www.daggerrose.com

or e-mail eplawson@netscape.net

Telephone: 615-895-5721

 The budget has not been approved as submitted. Mickey M.will explain in the Third Quarter report from Betty B. the specifics regarding allstanding committee's budget and the status of the state's finances.

  POEMS
The Career Girl

Now, I am the supervisor down

At the local Smarty Pants Plant.

(P.S. We make clothing for little boys!) David P., Murfreesboro Group

TENTATIVE ARCHIVE AGENDA

FOR THE FOURTH QUARTER ASSEMBLY

I. Opening the meeting

II. Secretary's Report

III. Treasurer's Report

IV. Topics for Discussion: (includes but not limited to)

A. Duties of Trusted Servants of the Archive Committee

1. Archivist

2. Chairperson

3. Alternate Chairperson

4. Treasurer

5. Secretary

B. Discuss the Archivist's and Chairperson's duties

1. Differences

2. Requirements/Suggestions

C. P resent and discuss the Area 64 Handbook

D. Traveling Display

E. Establishing a Committee for WebSite and Newsletter

F. Fund Raisers (Booster Club)

G. Workshops state/districts

H. Sharing from all the districts/groups. NEWS

These are some of the items that needs to be discussed within thiscommittee: Questions, suggestions, and criticisms from anyone interested in the Archivesis requested.

History of AA in Middle Tennessee as described by

Roscoe G.

Mandy G.

How did you hear about AA meetings you first attended?

"Was in existence in 1955. Don't remember, either phone book ornewspaper, across the Arcade on 4th Ave."

Can you describe the meeting hall or room? "It was a large room25-40 people. Go up two flights of stairs then 12more steps. 2nd place had more steps. 4thand Union 3rd floor had a stage and had to get up and talk."

How many people were there?--------"No women!"

Did they give phone #s? "Yes." Was there coffee?"Yes."

"Jack K. had a crippled left arm, made him suicidal at times. Hewent public about AA. Editor also crippled, encouraged Jack to get sober. Some familymembers went with him because he didn't trust himself to go by the liquor store. Same ageas Roscoe, 'More civilized now' getting sober w/traditions. R. G. quit drinking andsmoking for 10 years. He was poisoned by DDT, sprayed his house for bugs and didn't followdirections. Chronic bronchitis."

"John W. owned a furniture store, then real estate, died w/last fewyears, stopped AA. Sometimes he spoke the whole meeting. Some meetings they asked just 3or 4 people to talk, everyone listened. Had open and closed meetings. '53 or '54, he wentto 17th Edgefield Episcopal or Presbyterian and Cent., off by Vanderbilt. '53 or '54 awealthy woman who got sober donated (25th Ave. N. from Baptist Hospital) a building forthe central office at that time, 2 story, maybe 202? He quit going in '55, but stayedsober 'til 1960. 1st woman he remembered married a man in the program was Mrs. B., hedidn't remember her first name. Bill C,. Has 40 years, E. Nashville, Elaine J., OldHickory knows."

Smithville AA District ServiceRally, a Rousing Success

  Please let know about the activities of your group or district tobe included in the newsletter. Contact: eplawson@netscape.net Pauline L.

NAME:__________________________________________

ADDRESS:_______________________________________

CITY:____________________STATE_______ZIP_______

DONATIONS GRATEFULLY ACCEPTED

Area 64 Tennessee State Archives